And finally, all Men will struggle to balance work and family
Finally, as we looked at the statistics of men we find that all men will struggle to balance work and family. Men want to provide and care for their families so they get a job and begin to pour their lives into their work. To some men though, work can be intoxicating as they feel the thrill of success and receive accolades from their bosses. Or they feel the pressure as their family is under some financial pressure so they work additional hours to help pay for the unexpected expenses of the family or purchased items the family just had to have.
At home the wife wants her husband to spend more time with the family. The children want dad to play games or make it to their ballgames or recitals or just be there. Men are feeling the pressure to provide for their families but at the same time struggle with spending quality time with the family.
Scripture tells us that we are to work. God placed Adam in the Garden for the purpose to care and work as we are told in Genesis 2:15, “The LORD God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it.” This was before the fall of man, which is telling us that God expected man to work. Paul tells us that if we are not willing to work then let him not eat. For he writes in 2 Thessalonians 3:10, “If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat.” So God expects men to work.
But we are also to care for our families. We are to train them and watch over them. Deuteronomy 6:5-7 tells us, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” We are expected to teach our children the Word of God and be an example to them. We cannot do this if we are working all the time.
We are to honor and care for our wives. 1 Peter 3:7 tells us, “Husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman.” This requires us to spend time with our wives. It is a constant struggle – how do we do this? How do we meet the financial and emotional needs of the family without one of them suffering?
Some men have convinced themselves that working 50, 60, sometimes 80 hours a week they are providing for their families and their families will be thankful for their service. However, when you talk with the families we find out what they really want is for Dad – husband – to be home more.
To be honest with you – I don’t have the answer for you. Because each situation will be different and will require a different approach. But I do know that we have to trust God to meet our needs and help us to make the right choices. Proverbs 3:5-6 tells us, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” Seek God for the answer. Share with Him your frustrations. Acknowledge your responsibilities and allow God to help you develop that balance between work and home.
I know that some jobs require us to work overtime periodically. Mind did. But I will say I believe we have our priorities in the wrong place if we are volunteering to work overtime all the time which robs our families of quality time with Husband and Dad. And if you are volunteering to work overtime so you can pay the bills, maybe you need to look at your lifestyle and see if you have made purchases you really don’t need.
A man is most valuable when he is pouring his life into his family – his wife and children. If we are working all the time how can we spend quality time with our wives and children. How can she see that you are living with her in an understanding way and showing her honor?
In the industry I worked I have watched many pour their lives into their careers thinking they were helping their families when actually they were destroying them. They end up being one of those 4 men in 10 in divorce and wonder what went wrong. I am sure there was more to the individual stories; but, their careers played a big part.
Men need to support each other and help each other to find that balance between work and home. We need that one person we can call upon, pray with, and pour our heart out to on how to find that right balance. God told Jeremiah, “Call to Me and I will answer you” (Jeremiah 33:3). We need to call out to God and let Him show us how to find a balance between the two.
We need to be discipled on how to balance work and home.